Dude, Where's My Coat?

Government employees enjoy some perks, among them warm clothing allowance if one is posted overseas or go overseas in the official capacity. The catch was:

- One can claim that allowance once every three years (so if you went to the UK this year and claimed the allowance, you can't claim again when one goes to Norway the next year)

- Claim is only valid if the country of destination is located north of the Tropic Of Cancer and south of the Tropic Of Capricorn. For countries astride the said latitudes, the actual destination would be taken into account (Say, one can claim if one goes to Adelaide, Australia but not if one goes to Darwin)

The sum was quite princely, well at least to me - RM750 around fifteen years ago and RM1,500 today. So one day, this guy came to the office to submit his application for the said allowance. Allowance claims were not under my purview - it just happened that I was in my colleague's room (who did). So the exchange went something like this:

guy : Encik X (my colleague), saya nak buat permohonan elaun pakaian panas.

Mr X : Nak pergi mana?

Guy : Costa Rica

Me : Huh? Costa Rica ( Costa Rica is bloody tropical, what for?)

Mr X (consulting a world map): Tapi Costa Rica bukan atas garisan 45 darjah?

Me : Betul tu, kenapa nak buat tuntutan?

Mr X : Sebab tempat saya seminar tu atas gunung....

Me : (inner thoughts) Kalau macam tu, pergi Genting Highlands pun boleh claim....

Mr X : Tak boleh, sebab Costa Rica bukan negara yang layak boleh tuntut...

Guy: (trying to spin things) Er, flight saya connecting kat LA...US layak kan mohon?

Mr X : (rather annoyed) tempat transit mana boleh kira....

Guy : Ni tak boleh claim la ye?

Mr X Ye la!

Hmm...

Perodua Myvi In Israel? What's This?!

In the MyMil forum, one of us shared a photo from another chap's FB. Even though he uses Prof. Datuk Dr Shamsul Amri Baharuddin's photo as his profile pic, that is not the Prof's FB, alright?

Oh no! How could a Perodua Myvi can be in Israel? Is this proof that our Government is actually having trade relations with the Jews? Who should answer this? Perodua? MITI? The Prime Minister?!

Let's look at the facts, shall we?

1. That photo is in Israel. - look at the banner with Hebrew written on it at the background.

2. Israeli vehicle registration plate is in yellow (doesn't matter if it's Arab- or Jewish-owned). Vehicles in Occupied Territories have theirs in white.

3. Perodua Myvi (not Myvy) is also known as (deep breath) Toyota Passo aka Daihatsu Boon aka Daihatsu Sirion...hehehe.

So that photo is actually of a Toyota Passo or Daihatsu Boon/Sirion exported by Japan to Israel and NOT Perodua Myvi exported by Malaysia. Apparently the FB owner has absolutely no idea about Perodua cars' origins....Oh well perhaps he feels that he has no need to know about that....

But the funniest thing is not that chap's ignorance but the 44 people who 'liked' his Status Update....with no one pointing out the whole Passo/Boon/Sirion thing....

Cards That Change

Although not as involved as others, I consider myself a military buff and a bit of a car enthusiast. It all started when I was rather hooked on a card game called Top Trumps. Each 32-card pack is themed according to boys' interests, that is military hardware and vehicles of all types. Each card lists vital statistics of the item such as length, speed, engine power/capacity etc.

The game play are as follows:

1. Any number can play (at least 2)

2. Cards are dealt among the players

3. The first player (usually to the left of the dealer, who is usually the owner of the pack) selects a category and calls out its value from his topmost card (say, speed : 300mph). The others also read the same category. Everybody then places their respective cards in the center of the playing group.

4. The player with the best (read:largest) value wins. He then collects all the cards for that round and places them at the bottom of his pile. In case of a draw (having the same value) the cards are left in the center and the tied players select a new topmost card and and selects a new category.

5. The round-winning player repeats Step 4. The objective of the game is to have all (or the most cards, should the game session had to be prematurely ended such as the end of the recess period) of the cards at the end of the game. So anybody who loses all of his cards earlier on were knocked out of the game. Oh, once a player is down to his last three cards, he can choose any one for a particular round instead of the topmost card.

Sounds simple isn't it, and most of the time winning the game was decided by luck rather than strategies or tactics. But even then cries of 'cheat!' were heard which lead to fights and generally grumpiness on the part of the losing party. Sometimes we kids make improvised rules especially when no numerical values were given for a particular card's category.

Like I said before the top trump card sets encompasses a wide range of subjects. But most of them (at least to my point of view) seem to concentrate on military hardware. Despite misgivings by parents (including my Dad), as far as I know, the card game didn't turn us kids into gamblers. But since most of the card sets concentrated on military hardware, I can say that the Top Trump game kick-started me into the military buff I am today.

I had a number of card sets, and yes, most of them are military in nature (more on this later). One non-military card set that captured my imagination (then and even now) was 'Prototypes' or what we know today as concept cars. The cards feature, well, prototypes of cars that were not yet in production (then) like the Maserati Quattroporte and Ferrari 365BB. But, in most cases, as far as I know 30 years later, remain prototypes and has never been mass-produced. Some of the cars seemed so futuristic at that time which made us kids believed that there would really be flying cars in the year 2000. The were four stats categories : Number of cylinders, engine capacity (cc), Max. power output (hp) and Max. Speed (km/h).

The Prototypes card was one of the cards which caused confusion. As the basic rule was 'the larger number wins', we kids were stumped with the card for Pininfarina NSU Ro 80 which stated its 'number of cylinders' as 'Rotary Engine'. So, what did we do? We simply decided that 'Rotary Engine' has the highest numerical value! As for the rest, since there are cars with flat- and v-configured cylinders, we decided that the Vs have the higher value, so V8s trumps over flat-8. The selection of the cars are quite balanced in the sense that no one card has the best stats in all of the categories. The best cards in each category are thus (with some trivia I managed to find):

"Number Of Cylinders" : Rotary Engine - Pininfarina NSU Ro 80 concept

As I've mentioned before, us kids considered 'rotary engine' to have the biggest value. This was Pinifarina's 1971 concept car based on the rotary-engined NSU Ro 80. NSU had been absorbed by Audi.

"Engine Capacity" : 5,762cc - Iso Rivolta Varedo concept

Presented to the world at the 1972 Turin Motor Show, The Varedo was supposed to be Iso Rivolta's entry into the mid-engined supercar market. However, the company was sold by the Rivolta family and the new owner did not pursue the project. Only one was made.

"Max. Power Output" : 550hp - Pininfarina Modulo

The most futuristic-looking of all the cars in the pack. Put it on the streets and people might wonder if a time-traveler from the future is here or that someone has taken a movie prop for a spin! Pininfarina used a Ferrari 512 chassis and added this ultra-low body, so low that the seats are in line with the wheel hubs. And from the looks of it, it can only be driven in straight line ONLY! The original prototype was dismantled for parts - the one in the Ferrari Museum is a replica.

"Max. Speed" : 360km/h - Pininfarina Ferrari BB and Pininfarina Modulo (see above)

Also known as Ferrari 365 GT4 BB (Berlinetta Boxer). Shown as a concept car in 1971 Turin Motor Show and as a production vehicle at 1973 Paris Auto Show. Only 387 were built. The 365 were further developed into the 512 Series.

And finally, the weakest of the bunch.The Fiat Town Car and the Zagato Hondina. The Fiat Town car or Fiat X1/23 1972 concept car was an early example of compact electric car, or if you like, the ancestor of the Smart Car. The Hondina was Zagato's 1970 styling of the Honda Hondina N360. Both also had the least appealing appearance! We nicknamed the Fiat as 'Kereta Katak' (Frog Car) due its appearance.

Fiat Town Car

Fiat Town Car
No. of cylinders : 2
Engine Capacity : 594cc
Max. power Output : 23hp
Max. Speed : 85km/h

Zagato Hondina

Zagato : "Hondina"
No. Of Cylinders : 2
Engine Capacity : 354cc
Max. Power Output : 36hp
Max. Speed : 120km/h

NUMB3RS

So, the identity of the highest bidder for vehicle registration number WWW1 has been answered. Instead of being merely another middle-of-the newspaper story, someone decided to stir up controversy - basically because of the identity of the winner - the Sultan Of Johore. So this guy's commenting that the Sultan is wasting money and that the RM500k should be used to help the poor yadda yadda yadda. And then some other idiot decided to pour oil onto the fire by saying that the Sultan is using 'public funds'.

I think the Crown Prince of Johore has answered the issue through his Twitter, and i'm not going to repeat it here. I just want to say that before we criticise others, we should look at ourselves first. We tend to say that people waste their money if they pay top money to indulge themselves. But do we ask ourselves whether we did it too (albeit at a smaller scale)? Or we say that the money is better spent to help the poor, but we ignore the little old lady who lived in a ramshackle house just a stone throw's away from our house. Or how about this, someone said that there is a misuse of RM500,000 of public money, but our friends (if not YOU yourself) who are on PTPTN loan, bought Blackberry, iPhone or Galaxy Note, which is not really needed for your tertiary education...isn't that misuse of public funds too? Like it or not, we are hypocrites!

You Say Best When You Say Nothing At All!

Part One

Recently it was revealed that an MP asked this particular question at the current Parliamentary Session:

[name omitted] minta Menteri Pertahanan menyatakan proses pembelian kapal peronda generasi kedua (Second Generation patrol Vessel - SGPV) pada Februari tahun lalu dengan harga RM6billion sedangkan Filipina telah didedahkan telah membeli kapal jenis sama tetapi sedikit besar dengan harga hanya RM32.7juta . Adakah pembeliannya melalui proses tender terbuka. Jika ya, berapakah syarikat yang menyertainya.

Despite his colleague basically receiving a mighty pounding for asking roughly the same question a number of months back, this MP who holds a higher position in the party, still insists. I do not know MINDEF's answer but, well here's my reply:

The Philippine Navy has recently acquired the ex-US Coast Guard Cutter USCGC Hamilton which was renamed BRP Gregorio del Pilar and to be followed by  ex-USCGC Dallas and probably another one. Sure, it's bigger (3,000 tons displacement compared to 2,000 tons; 115m in length compared to 105m) than the favourite(?) candidate for our SGPV programme. But our esteemed MP somehow forgot to check that BRP Gregorio del Pilar was originally commissioned in 1967 and was bought second-hand by the Philippine Navy - who wants to buy a 45-year old ship at inflated prices? Next, the price tag for del Pilar is way lower not only because it's a second-hand ship but also because of what she is equipped with:

1 x 76mm OTO Melara Compact DP gun

1 x M242 Bushmaster 25mm cannon

2 x Mk16 20mm cannon

6 x M2 12.7mm heavy MG

2 x 6-barrel Super RBOC decoy launchers

1 x AN/SPS-73 search radar

Sperry Mk 92 FC System

Despite her size, she is not much equipped. Now can you spend RM32.7 million and expect the ship to be equipped with surface-to-air missiles, anti-ship missiles, guns, torpedoes, search radars, FC radars, ECM equipment, and combat data systems?  

Part Two

Apparently, Tuesday, 17th of April is the "Global Day Of Action On Military Spending". So being a member of the international community, some 'concerned' NGOs in Malaysia have appealed to the PM to cut down on military spending. They wanted the defence budget, which is at 2-3% of the GDP to be cut down to LESS than 1%. To highlight their concern, they quoted that the defence spending was as high as 15.9% of the GDP during the Third Malaysia Plan. They also wanted the government to promote ASEAN coo-operation to pool resources and slash arms spending in the region. Their spokesman also said that the purchase of the two Scorpene-class submarines are wasteful as the Navy needs up to ten to patrol the South China Sea and that the more 'effective' approach would be 'passive defence measures such as anti-tank or anti-aircraft systems'.

They quote the Third Malaysian Plan as being excessive in defence. They somehow forgot the political and security climate during that time, 1976 to 1980 with the Second Emergency/Insurgency at its height, Vietnam and Cambodia have fallen into communist hands and the Soviets have invade Afghanistan. They want ASEAN countries to slash arms spending but of the numerous NGOs in the region, only those in three countries had activities on the 17th. Furthermore, no NGO in one particular country which spend 6% of its GDP (or roughly US$9 billion)  took part.

But the funniest thing is that when that spokesperson tried to offer a 'more effective' alternative way to safeguard our SLOC and EEZ - by using anti-tank or Anti-aircraft systems. Yes, who needs 100km-range Exocet anti-ship missiles or 50km swimming Black Shark torpedoes when you can use 2.5km Javelin ATGW or 200 meter RPG-7? Or force missiles designed to destroy AIRCRAFT to fly low and blow holes in ships?

And finally, I find it ironic that one of the protesters wore camo-pattern trousers in an effectively anti-military rally!

Local = Tak Bermutu (Ye La Tu)

Aku baru aje 'melepak' kat forum Mymil bila terbaca posting oleh standupper pasal kemalangan jalanraya di Terengganu semalam yang mengorbankan seorang pegawai Jabatan Agama Islam Terengganu. Tapi bukan kemalangan tu sendiri yang si stand ni nak cerita, sebaliknya ada komen dalam Facebook yang kurang tepat yang juga menunjukkan mentaliti sebahagian rakyat Malaysia sejak dulu-dulu lagi. Komennya?

"Naib baik diaorang bukan naik kereta buatan Malaysia. sorang aje mati. klu kereta buatan malaysia tu saya rasa semua sekali arwah"

"Jgn beli kereta buatan malaysia.murah tak juga. Mahal adalah selamat jauh sekali. 60km je accident mata (mati?) 80% temgoklah dalam TV yang banyak mati accident kereta adalah dari kereta kebanggan malaysia"

Jadi, kalau katakan van tu sebuah Proton (biasanya yang jadi mangsa ni Proton, Perodua tak pulak) makanya, semua tu mati la ye, sedara? Adakah ajal maut seseorang dalam kemalangan ditentukan oleh jenis kenderaan, bukan Qadha dan Qadar Allah? Agaknya kalau ditunjukkan sahaja gambar keadaan van yang remuk sekali tu (tanpa mengetahui apa terjadi kepada pemandu dan penumpang) rasa aku silap-silap dia kata, "Mati semua ni"...dan BUKAN "ni van Toyota...ada yang hidup ni...." Sepupu wife aku pernah alami kemalangan dalam situasi yang hampir sama dengan Iswara Aeroback dia - tokey bengkel siap tanya "Berapa orang mati?". So sedara dalam FB tu, boleh terangkan kenapa sepupu tu tak mati padahal dia bawak kereta buatan Malaysia? Atau terangkan macamana Princess Diana boleh mati dalam Merc S-Class yang langgar tembok pada kelajuan 130km/j? Atau sedara-mara yang terkorban bila Toyota Wish dia jadi scrap metal pada awal tahun tempoh hari?

Pelanggaran pada kelajuan 60km/j aje dah boleh mati? Mungkin ye kalau tak pakai seatbelt, jatuh gaung atau terperosok bawah lori. Dan kereta paling banyak kat Malaysia ni sah-sah le kereta buatan Malaysia, jadi kalau berlaku kemalangan pun banyak le yang libatkan kereta buatan tempatan!

Memang Proton tak sempurna (siapa aje yang sempurna?) tapi kalau merapu kata kadar kematian lebih tinggi sebab kereta tempatan aku rasa sudah lebey......

Phishing Blues

I recently found this complaint somewhere in the Net:

"Baru-baru ini saya dikejutkan dengan kehilangan sejumlah wang di akaun Maybank saya secara tiba-tiba. Ini terjadi apabila tiba-tiba saya mendapat sms yang sejumlah wang saya ditransfer ke akaun yang tidak dikenali. Dengan itu, saya terus menelefon bank dan mengarahkan agar akaun saya disekat,saya juga telah membuat laporan polis pada masa yang sama.

Semua salinan telahpun saya beri kepada Maybank untuk tujuan siasatan. Malangnya, pihak Maybank tidak mahu bertanggungjawab diatas kehilangan duit saya dan menganggap itu kecuaian dari saya sendiri. Saya berasa amat kecewa. Buat pengetahuan semua, rupa-rupanya bukan saya seorang sahaja yang menjadi mangsa keadaan ini, ramai lagi yang hilang duit di dalam akaun Maybank yang dibuat melalui email menyatakan agar pelanggan mengemaskinikan akaun masing-masing. Kebanyakan rakan-rakan yang mengalami nasib malang yang sama terdiri dari pekerja awam.

Persoalannya, dimanakah tanggungjawab Maybank diatas kehilangan duit pelanggan yang menyimpan duit di bank mereka? Yang saya pelik ini terjadi hanya di bank Maybank bukan di akaun-akaun lain. Diamanakah yang dikatakan sistem keselamatan yang konon-kononnya terlalu bagus oleh Maybank? Berapa ramai lagi yang akan jadi mangsa selepas ini? Saya tidak faham mengapa Maybank mengambil ringan masalah pelanggan dan enggan bertanggungjawab.

Inikah yang dikatakan “customer always right”?

Pada pendapat saya, Maybank2u Online memang tidak selamat untuk digunakan kerana senang-senang penggodam haram masuk dan mencuri duit pelanggan dan Maybank tidak sama sekali tidak bertanggungjawab! Kenapa setelah ramai yang menjadi mangsa Maybank masih berdiam diri tanpa apa-apa tindakan membaikpulih sistem mereka? Adakah mereka memang langsung tidak pedulikan aduan pelanggan dan hanya mengutamakan keuntungan semata  mata?"

 Maybank, and just about every other banks have issued warnings to their customers NOT to respond to e-mails  from sites masquerading as theirs asking customers to 'update' their accounts by inputting their password, login and/or account number. Known as phishing, such scams have swindled many. Reading the complaint above, I'm quite amazed that there are still people who were conned, despite warnings given by the banks themselves and through the media. She even complained about the security of Maybank2U website. Well, lady, even the best anti-intruder system is worthless if you power the system down, allowing just about everybody access into your compound! The loss of her (and others') money is not because some hacker managed to bypass Maybank's security system, but because he had been given the 'keys' by the owner themselves! Of course Maybank won't accept responsibility! 'Only at Maybank' ma'am? Heck, even I have received e-mails from 'Bank Islam' and other banks which have internet banking facility.

So, what did I do with those e-mails? I deleted them of course. But since I do not have a Maybank2U account, I feel it was safe to type f**k_off as my login and a**hole as my password.....