Monday, December 17, 2007

Lame Claim To Fame

Siapa yang tak nak terkenal? Ramai orang yang buat kerja bijak (dan juga budusss) sebab nak terkenal. Aku pun nak terkenal, jadi aku nak 'tuntut' 'hak' aku sebagai originator benda-benda ni...hahaha

I - Frasa "...kapalterbang pun boleh kena rampas, inikan pula...."

Satu hari di tahun 1991 gitu, aku sedang berborak dengan classmate aku. Timbul cite yang dia minat kat satu mamat ni (classmate aku dalam cite ni pompuan la, hape, korang ingat gay ke?) Malangnya mamat ni dah ber-awek dan classmate aku ni melahirkan kekecewaan dia (konon). Jadi bertindak sebagai 'peguam setan' aku sebut ayat ni ..."Eleh, alangkan kapalterbang boleh kena rampas, inikan pulak si Mat X tu!" Dan aku tambah lagi "Cop, KAPAL pun boleh kena rampas*!" Dan sejak itu, banyak aku dengar ayat2 sebegitu, termasuk kat drama TV!

*Merujuk kepada insiden rampasan kapal SS Achille Lauro pada tahun 1985.

II - Trend bertopi

Juga masa aku di kolej, aku selalu memakai cap. Member2 pulak naik rimas sampai suruh aku bukak...mungkin sebab tak kena dengan style aku yang mat skema....tapi dalam jangka masa 3-4 tahun lepas tu, pemakaian cap menjadi fesyen....Tony Fernandes la ni pun pakai cap kalau muncuk kat TV. Adakah aku menjadi trend-setter?

Sekian edisi merapu hari ini....

Monday, December 10, 2007

Mari Melayan Banker Afrika (Part Nine)

Nampaknya En Daud masih berminat....dan dia ajak aku pergi Liberia!

Dear Alpha

You will hear from the bank and always keep me updated.

What you will do now is to start arranging to be here for the endorsement of the Final Fund Release Order Form with the ministry of Finance so that 'Certificate of Inheritance' will be issued you which is the only legal document to show that the money going into your account is genuine, free from drugs, terrorism and money laundry.

However, an attorney can stand to sign on your behalf but I will appreciate it most if you will make it possible as that will be a very big opportunity for us to know each other and build more confidence before the fund enters your account. My country is a visa free country as you can get your visa at the port of entry.

Pls let me hear from you urgently on this to enable us know what we are doing.


Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards,

Daud.

Dan ini balasan aku....dia nak layan ke?

Dear Daud

I suppose I can travel to your country.

However, I do not recognize you. Can you send me a picture of you holding a signboard with the words 'AKU PENIPU BESOR...NGEH 3X'? That's a code word only the two of us know. Your picture can be used by me to identify you when I arrive in Liberia.

Please find the attached word document for you to use as template.

Regards

Aku Menang Loteri!!!

Dah lama En Don Beruk dengan Daud Bersakar tak balas email aku...depa tahu aku 'kencing' depa balik kut?

Dan hari ni muncul 'mangsa' baru....(mungkin orang yang sama, mungkin orang lain)

PEPSI INTERNATIONAL MEGA JACKPOT
WEST AFRICA REGIONAL OFFICE
PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARDDEPT
PEPSI COLA AVENUE
DIRECTOR: MR. VINNY JONES

Attn:WinnerNotification
Date:18/10/2007
AMOUNT WON: $250,000.00 (Two Hundred and Fifty thousand US Dollars)).


This email address has brought you an unexpected luck,We happily announce to you the draw (P121) of the Pepsi End of Year Promotions and the Newly Established Regional office in Africa,Online Sweepstakes International program held on 1st of October, 2007. Your e-mail addressattached to ticket number: PEP898-787-768 with Serial number 9368/09 drew the lucky numbers: P (16)-(93)-(06)-(95)-(02)-(40)bonus # (13), through their latest internet software. You are therefore been approved by EPSI COLA COMPANY the sum of $250,000.00 (Two Hundred and Fifty thousand US Dollars)

CONTACT CLAIMS ADMINISTRATOR.
NAME:Ryan Giggs Email ryangiggs1@xxx.com
Phone: # : xxx-xxxxxxx Fax: xxx-xxxxxxxx


PEPSI COLA Promotion DepartmentDo email the above Claims Administrator, at once with all the claimsrequirements below. To avoid unnecessary delay. They are needed to proceed.

Claims Requirements
:1. Full Name:.....................................2. Address:.......................................3. Nationality:...................................4. Age:.......... Date of Birth:.................5. Occupation:.....................................6. Phone:................Fax:.....................7. State of Origin:...........Country:............

PROCEEDURES / RIGHTS AND PRECAUTIONS.

Choose from payment options and Contact the Claims Administratorvia email with all your claims requirements well filled @ryangiggs1@xxx.com(i).Cash Pick Up(ii).Delivery of Certified Check of $250,000.00 by a registered Courier Company.

Secretary,
Sir Bruce Grobbelaar
Pepsi Online International Promotions Unit
Copyright 2007 Pepsi Online Int. All rights reserved

OK, so let's dance! Ini maklumat yang aku bagi.....

Dear Sir,

Wow! I won 250,000 US Dollars? Grrrrreaaat!

I want to claim the prize money and here's my particulars as requested.

1. Full Name: Hasso von Manteuffel
2. Address: Tipu-Tipu Cattle Ranch, P.O Box 36999, Black Wood Hills, Qeddah, Malaysia.
3. Nationality: Malaysian / German
4. Age: 35 Date of Birth: 29/02/1972
5. Occupation: Head Of Operations / Cattle Herder
6. Phone: none Fax: none7.
State of Origin: Qeddah Country: Malaysia

Method of payment : Delivery of Certified Check of $250,000.00 by a registered Courier Company

Let's see if he'll bite....


Thursday, December 06, 2007

Mari Melayan Banker Afrika (Part Eight)



En Daud Bersakar dah balas email query aku. Dengan baik hatinya dia beri detail 'George Weah' aku rasa cukuplah aku cakap yang George Weah ni Egyptian(!), berumur 64 tahun dan bekerja sebagai doktor....dan dengan 'data' tu, aku balas e-mail dari 'African Development Bank'. Hasilnya aku dapat 'acknowledgement receipt' macam kat atas tu....


Now I'm getting naughty. Aku turut sertakan 'ID Card' aku....



Dan juga e-mail ni....

Dear Sir
Sorry, I forgot to confirm my account details. I hereby Confirm that the detailsof my account (as emailed to you before) is true.

Also, can you email me a photograph (ID would be best) of you to confirm youridentity so that I know I'm dealing with a banker, not a scammer.

Thank you.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Rock Legend Turn Chancellor!

OK, this is actually stale news but one which should be noted by our artistes and the wannabes.

Brian May, rock star and astrophysicist, has been appointed chancellor of Liverpool John Moores University.

May will be installed as the university's figurehead leader early next year, it was announced Monday. The 60-year-old Queen guitarist said the appointment was "a great honor and a great new challenge."

He is an honorary fellow of Liverpool John Moores University, which has a well-known astrophysics research institute.

"Brian May is an intensely talented individual who achieved global success with Queen," said the university's vice chancellor, Michael Brown, in a statement. "In this age of celebrity culture, it is rare to find someone who has fame, fortune and universal acclaim and yet who remains true to his core values of learning and enlightenment."

Liverpool John Moores University was formed in 1992 from the former Liverpool Polytechnic.
It should also be noted that earlier on Brian May received his PhD from Imperial College, London (which is one of the top Universities in the UK, if not the world). Whilst he did leave his studies as a result of Queen's popularity, what he left was his doctoral studies. Our artistes tend to be school leavers...some are dropouts! (One or two do have PhDs but from dubious institutions...haha).
Well, that's Brian May, music legend and scholar. And by the way, do you know that Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) has a MSc from Oxford University?

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Mari Melayan Banker Afrika (Part Seven)

Email terbaru dari Mr Bersakar

Dear Partner.

How are you today? I hope your alright.

Have you sent the answers back to the bank?

Pls get to me urgently to enable me know the situation of things.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards.

David.


Aku balas balik

Hello David.

I am fine, I just took leave for a couple of days to unwind. The girls at the border town bars sure know how to please their man.

OK regarding the bank. I don't know the answers to these questions
:1. The name of the deceased's firm and the registration number.
2. What kind of account he is operating
3. His account number
4. Is he married, and if so, the name of his wife.

I cannot just put whatever details as I like as the bank will know that I am trying to trick them. Please advise.

Your buddy
Alpha