Thursday, October 22, 2009

Sejadah berdiri!

Dah dua kali kejadian sejadah berdiri berlaku di negara kita. Pertama kali di Bukit Mertajam dan kali kedua di Pasir Mas. Kejadian di Bukit Mertajam berlaku di rumah penduduk manakala di Pasir Mas berlaku di surau sebuah sekolah di sana. Kat BM, kejadian melibatkan sehelai sejadah manakala di PM, melibatkan satu surau punya sejadah! Banyak interpretasi tentang kejadian ini, tapi yang biasa diperkatakan ialah peringatan supaya umat Islam tidak meninggalkan solat.

OK bagi aku kejadian kat BM tu memang misteri sebab sejadah tu bukan saja jenis lembut (ie tak boleh 'berdiri') tapi cara lipatan dia memang nampak macam orang tengah tahiyat. Yang kat PM tu pulak...boleh aku kata macam kelas gubahan hantaran pengantin yang terbengkalai? Kebanyakannya nampak macam berlonggok camtu aje!

OK la, katakan memang kejadian di PM tu 'betul' (bukan kerja budak nakal!)...aku rasa ironik bila cikgu tu kata pihak sekolah nak biarkan sejadah-sejadah tu macam tu, tengok apa nak jadi. Masalahnya sejadah tu bersepah satu surau...kalau dibiarkan, MACAMANA ORANG NAK SOLAT KAT SITU?! Orang ramai pun berdedai nak tengok 'kejadian aneh' tu...

Monday, October 19, 2009

My D**k Is BIGGER Than Yours!

I usually don't bait people or respond to juvenile/immature/trivial taunts in cyberspace especially during the recent crisis between the so-called Indonesian patriots and our country. However I came across this badly informed and juvenile poster espousing the might of their military.....
Apparently their Air Force is using the highly advanced Flanker series of fighters, their Army is proudly using locally-produced APCs, their Navy operates sleek warships and their Korps Marinir or KOPASSUS troops look extremely menacing and dangerous in their berets and camo'd faces. On the other hand our military is using outdated F-5, the Navy's using eeny-weeny tiny boat and our soldiers look sissy in their Baju Melayu.

Now what I'm going to write next might not be accurate but, as far as I can remember....
1. Yes they do operate Flankers - All FOUR of them (2 Su-27SKs and 2 Su-30KIs) and to rub salt into that wound, they were delivered without weapons save for the internal 30mm cannon! Now I don't want to gloat (really!) but have in our posession 18 Su-30MKMs which apparently the most advanced Flanker versions in service today and we already have the weapons to arm them. OK, to be fair to them, another uh, 3 SU-27SKMs are to be delivered (presumably with weapons) to the Indonesian AF.

2. The F-5 shown in the photo is actually the RF-5E version, used for tactical recon..which is not really a bad plane! As for that tiny boat, it looks more like a Royal Customs or a Royal Malaysian Police craft. Even if that boat belongs to the RMN, using the photo in this context is akin to Chinese netters showing pics of USCG rescue boats in order to ridicule the US Navy!

3. Now the pics of the soldiers....which is simply pathetic. The Indonesians are pictured in battle dress whilst our soldiers is pictured in parade uniforms! (the b&w photo probably dates from the 60s even). Does clothing (and camo cream) make a soldier? Are Buckingham Palace guards sissier than their comrades posted in Iraq or Afghanistan?

4. PT Pindad...I have to admit that their defence industry is more advanced than ours. Although I wouldn't thump my chest loudly if I were them since the rifle produced is actually rebadged FNCs from Belgium and that the APC have strong resemblance to the French VAB! (The engine is actually Renault)

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Exotic food anyone?

For the ladies night we have the best wines made from the finest alfalfa and carpet grass.....

Don't worry we use only the best, fresh ingredients!

Would you like to taste our bad-behavioured chickens?

And finally, end your dinner with our delicious candies, made from coconuts planted by the Agricultural Studies Department of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Alarm! Alarm! Invasion!!

Okey ni kata Adian Napitupulu, ketua BENDERA yang kata serang Malaysia.

Katanya rentcong Aceh, panah Papua, pedang Patimura, mandau Kalimantan, keris Jawa, kujang Sunda, golok Betawi, badik Palembang dan pedang Sisingamagaraja dan persumpah nak 'ganyang' Malaysia.
(OK parang kontot, parang panjang, keris Melayu, tombak, sundang, qiang, gun dengan nandao dah sedia...tu tak campur Steyr AUG, M16A1, MP5, FN MAG, FN Minimi, SG552, G36, SS77, M2HB....)

Kata dia lagi, 10 infiltrator dah masuk untuk buat network di kalangan pekerja Indonesia (1.45 juta orang) di sini dan pekerja ni ditugaskan untuk membakar tempat kerja masing-masing....
(Camne dia nak buat aku pun tak tau...dah la tu suruh orang tuang pasir dalam periuk nasi sendiri?)

Katanya atas kertas, mereka dah menang dah....(atas kertas je le)

Opening salvo pada 8 Oktober (Khamis ni) akan didahului 300 'patriot' yang ada ilmu kebal dengan menyerang Kuching dan Tawau; si Adian sendiri tak tau nama bandar kat Sabah tu tapi reporter kata mungkin Tawau). Dalam masa 9 bulan boleh tawan KL.....Bila ditanya kenapa tak serang KL terus, dia kata dia ikut strategi 'Uncle' Mao yang tawan kampung dulu baru bandar kecik lepas tu baru bandar besar.
(Ilmu kebal? Hmm penyerang balai BP tahun 1980 dulu kata mereka kebal, dalam tahun ni aja ramai perompak 'kebal' kiok jugak kena peluru 9mm PDRM.....Uncle Mao? Huh saki baki PKI apa dia ni?)

Ditanya kenapa buat tindakan (bodoh) sebegitu, kata dia
1. Malaysia rampas pulau (Wei mangkuk, kami menang fair and square, kat mahkamah! Atau Indon camni hanya kenal kekerasan - sebab dia dia cam tak kisah aje pasal penaklukan atas Irian Jaya dan Timor Leste? Kalau kita angkat Sipadan cara perang baru kira OK, gitu kot?)
2. Malaysia rampas budaya mereka (dia ni tak pernah dengar perkataan asimilasi agaknya lagipun dah beratus tahun proses tu berlaku....tapi sibuk jugak kata kita ni ex jajahan Srivijaya dengan Majapahit....)
3. Kes dera warga mereka di Malaysia - dia bagi contoh 34 kes penganiayaan. Secara spesifiknya kes Nirmala Bonat dengan kes orang kena hempuk polis/RELA/guard. (34 kes aje, abis kes kaum kau merompak, menyamun, pecah rumah, bawak lari barang tuan rumah, bawak lari anak tuan rumah tu camne? Kena aniaya pihak keselamatan? Siapa suruh masuk secara haram? Dah la tu kes pukul tu bukan orang Malaysia sendiri?)
4. Berkait dengan kes dera katanya sebab orang Malaysia diamkan diri maka dia guna pendekatan kerbau bawa lumpur semua terpalit...semua orang Malaysia jahat sebab diamkan diri (Abis ko nak kami ramai-ramai belasah majikan Nirmala tu pulak? Negeri engkau boleh la amal vigilante ni...)
5. Juga pasal Nirmala, katanya kalau serumpun kenapa camtu dengan rumpun sendiri? (Jawapan sebenar aku mungkin orang boleh salaherti...cukuplah kalau aku kata...kalau korang sama rumpun, apasal rompak kami?)
6. Bengang pasal Malaysia ekspot pengganas (arwah Dr Azahari dengan Noordin) menyebabkan negara lain sangka Indonesia penuh dengan pengganas) (Dua orang tu mastermind aje...mastermind mana boleh buat semua kerja....sah2 le anggota militan yang lain tu...Indon!)

Entah la kelakar pulak...macam le takde agensi keselamatan kat sini.....dia ni rupanya ahli PDI-P, kira ada terbawak2 era Sukarno la. Dia jugak antara pemimpin pelajar yang aktif ketika kejatuhan Suharto. Kira dia ada bahagian la dalam kejatuhan Pak Harto...tapi kalau dia ingat menyerang negara asing sama macam nak jatuhkan Presiden........hahah.

Oh kata2 terakhir dia "Saya tak gila. Hanya orang gila menyerang tanpa sebab". Kata aku "Orang gila aje tak mengaku dia gila!!!"