Thursday, November 29, 2007

Mari Melayan Banker Afrika (Part Six)

Dalam masa yang sama aku dapat email dari Mr Bersakar

Dear Partner.
I received your email and will like to bring to your mind that we have started the journey of a great fortune and we should try by every means to make this a success.

You should try by every possible means and make it to my country for us to get this transaction successfuly completed as this will be required from you once approval is granted. An attorney can stand to process all the requiremnts and sign on your behalf but I will appreciate if you will make it possible to be here as that will be a very big opportunity for us to know each other and build more confidence.

Moreover, you should watch out for a proposal of this nature and pls do not reply any. Due to the developmental needs of Burkina Faso many foreign investors and contractors flood here for contracts and investments. Many also use that medium to engage in an illegal transaction. Because these ills are not checked following the country's agreement with the IMF as benefits to the developing countries, many foreigners used the opportunity to execute many illegal transactions like drug and money laundry. Since the discovery of these ills by the Blaise government an order has been given to confiscate all the foreign account with any bank that have been dormant for the purchase of arms and armmunition. Bank officials like I personally have discovered such account whereas the reason I would want the funds approved in your name as the beneficiary. Do not reply any email that might come for this kind of proposal as all the files will pass through the Ministry of Finance and it will look suspicious if your name is in two different files. Also the 2002 African Union summit held in Durban, South Africa, following the 11th september attack initiated the AU Fund Transfer Monitoring Agents to monitor all the SWIFT money transfers coming in and going out of Africa in a way to checkmate the world's most threatening human disaster 'Terrorism' which has caused a lot of damage and dread to the human person. All the file of every international money transfer must pass through AU monitoring agents before the funds will be transferred. Pls you should immediately stop communications with them so that we will not have anything to regret in this transaction. This is a life time transaction and we should not in any way mess it up. All you have to do is to forward such email to me for advise. Keep me updated once you hear from the bank.

Punya la tamak...sampai kata jangan layan permintaan lain yang serupa!
Ni balasan aku...

Dear
David.I have received email from the bank. They want me to fill a form which details Iam not familiar with such as information of the deceased guy. What shall I do? I have attached the said form for your reference.

Mari Melayan Banker Afrika (Part Five)

This is getting serious...aku dapat email dari African Development Bank!

TTN: SIR,

THIS QUESTIONNAIRE IS AN OFFICIAL PROPERTY OF AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK. IT IS HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL AND IT IS ONLY ISSUED TO NEXT OF KIN TO DECEASED CUSTOMERS OF THIS BANK, PROVING THEIR GENUITY TOWARDS SUCH CLAIMS. ANY ALTERATION, CANCELLATION, WRONG INFORMATION OR MISTAKES MADE AS A RESULT OF FILLING THIS QUESTIONNAIRE WILL MAKE SUCH CLAIMS INVALID AND NOT GENUINE. WE WILL APPLY ON YOUR BEHALF FOR FOREIGN EXCHANGE APPROVAL AT THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE AND PAYMENT WILL BE GRANTED AS SOON AS WE RECEIVE THE BELOW DOCUMENT.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,
MR.DON BERUK.
FOREIGN PAYMENT OFFICER
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK
LIBERIA


Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Mari Melayan Banker Afrika (Part Four)

Haha...dah dapat balasan dari En. Bersakar. Dia nak establish bona fide dengan suruh aku e-mail jugak 'African Development Bank'. Siap greet aku 'partner' lagi....ni dia e-mail En Bersakar tu

Dear Partner.

Thank you for your email.Go ahead forward you bank information to the bank through their email Address as the application should sent to bank by sent it through below email Address .

adbcostomers@xxx.com or adbaccount@xxx.com.

Am here to direct you what you will do.so feel free to contact me once you hear any meassge from bank.

Let me know once you sent the application to the bank.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards.

Daud.

Aku dah reply kat En. Bersakar tu.

Dear David.
I have sent the required information to the bank. I am awaiting for further instructions.
Detail yang aku bagi (ingat aku tak tau ka yang permintaan detail akaun aku tu cuma auta aje, nak tunjukkan bona fide dia)
Bank name:Islamic Bank Malaysia
Account Number:1310497832-7-X-09 (mana le ada nombor akaun camni!)
Bank address : Islamic Bank Malaysia, No.1, Tak Wou Jud Building, Charngloan,State Of Qeddah, Malaysia
Account name : Alpha
Swift Code:ISBMMY444
Personal information
Contact Address:Lu-Kinna Kincing Balick Oil Palm Plantation, PO Box 1120,Charngloan, State of Qeddah, Malaysia
Occupation : Oil Palm Planter / Manager
Age : 35
Tengok apa jadi lepas ni....

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Mari Melayan Banker Afrika (Part Three)

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Mari Melayan Banker Afrika (Part Two)

Email dari 'En. Daud Bersakar'

Dear Sir, What is the situation of things? I am really not happy with your silence over this project. What is your intention with regards to this project???? Are you with me or not???? Pls you have to be open to me so that I will know which other step to take. You will not gain any thing by keeping me in the dark. I contacted you to champion this project but not to do you any harm and I will appreciate if you void doing me any harm too as it will never be good.

We are human beings and it is always good to declare our stand to one another so that we will have understanding. Pls let me hear from you urgently to enable me know what the status of this project will be. Hope to hear from you as soon as possible.

Regards

Email balasan aku pulak

Dear Sir,

I am with you. But please understand my situation as I live quite far from civilisation. In fact I am quite nervous when you didn't reply my e-mail untiltoday. The sum you offered me is very significant and it allows me to live theway I always dreamed of.

So, what do I have to do next?

Monday, November 19, 2007

Mat Ziarah

Tu nama glamer untuk student yang join tabligh masa aku buat A-Level dulu. Geng tabligh ni bagus sebenarnya, mengajak orang amal makruh nahi mungkar. Sanggup mengorbankan masa berbulan-bulan on the road untuk menyampaikan dakwah. Itu konsepnya.

Tapi ada beberapa benda yang buat aku "rimas" tengok dia orang ni...

1. Tak jaga kebersihan (bukan semua la). Kengkadang ada yang bau hapak, baju comot..kalau yang duduk masjid, bersepah-sepah...sampai masjid kena kunci malam-malam...Dari pemerhatian aku, idea geng tabligh ni asal banyak dari India. Dan kalau tak salah aku, Hindu pun ada geng yang berkonsep ala-ala tabligh ni...rambut kusut-masai, pakai cawat, jambang tak terurus, kononnya trademark tawaduk ala depa le...somehow aku rasa masih ada pengaruh keHinduan dalam geng tabligh ni..bukankah Islam mengajak umatnya mementingkan kebersihan?

2. Tinggal rumah tak balik-balik tanpa melaksanakan tanggungjawab sebagai suami/bapa. Pun bukan semua la....Wife aku cerita, ada workmate dia dulu. Hubby dia caring, makan-minum, pakai semua cukup disediakan. Tapi bila masuk tabligh, satu sen pun dia tak tinggal buat nafkah anak isteri dia....boleh ke macam tu? Memang le isteri tu kerja tapi bukankah suami WAJIB sediakan nafkah?

3. Ni sebenarnya takde apa, tapi aku nak cakap jugak. Macam mamat gothic...Betul, sunnah Nabi pakai celak. Tapi sikit aje, buat kontras. Bukan nampak macam kena tumbuk....atau bebudak gothic!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Kehebatan Mesin Teller Automatik (ATM) (ye la tu)

Aku ada dapat e-mail berikut:

"Sekiranya anda dirompak dan dipaksa untuk mengeluarkan wang akaun anda daripada mesin ATM, anda boleh meminta bantuan cara senyap dengan memasukkan no Pin anda di mesin ATM cara terbalik. Sebagai contoh jika no Pin anda adalah 123456, jadi anda harus memasukkan nombor 654321. Mesin ATM akan mengenalpasti nombor tersebut adalah nombor yg diterbalikkan drpd nombor yg sebenarnya melalui kad anda yg masukkan kedalam mesin tersebut.Mesin ATM akan tetap mengeluarkan wang tunai seperti biasa, tapi apa yg kita tidak ketahui, pihak Bank dgn segera akan menghantar pihak berkuasa(Polis) kepada anda. Perkara ini pernah disiarkan di TV baru-baru ini dan ianya menyatakan kaedah ini jarang diguna disebabkan ramai orang tidak mengetahui akan kewujudan sistem yg seumpama ini. Sebar-sebarkan ya~"
Apa aku buat, aku terus ke ATM berdekatan. Aku buat macam yang dikatakan. Mula-mula aku terkejut sebab mesin tu jalan macam biasa, jadi aku setakat nak tengok baki akaun sahaja.. Tapi bila masa nak tunjuk skrin maklumat baki akaun aku...keluar

Nombor PIN Salah
Sila Masukkan nombor PIN anda dan tekan 'OK'

U
sah kata polis...pak guard bank pun buat dekkk aje....Kalau aku input lagi nombor terbalik tu...alamat kad aku kena telan le. Tu aje le 'bantuan' yang bank boleh bagi!